Bedtime is the end of the day. The days seems to rush by filled with cooking and cleaning, fighting and laughing, crying and playing, errands and checklists. Hugs and kisses fill the "in betweens". By the time sunset comes along it seems no matter how long the day might have felt, all of a sudden it has disappeared. The house settles down to rest and be quiet. I used to enjoy that calm, now I fear it. As bedtime nears I know silence is coming. I know darkness is coming. I'm afraid of the dark. It means that soon everyone will be asleep. Except me. Flipping through the channels trying to postpone my own bedtime. Knowing that I will be alone. I touch his pillow, missing him so much. Knowing that I can't help him, I can't hug him. I eventually fall asleep hoping that one of my kids will wake up and want to sleep in my bed, even if only for a few minutes. It's only been a week and a half. I miss my best friend. Goodnight. It's almost time for a new day to begin.
4 comments:
Tina, you make me sad. Why don't you call me? I am up until midnight every night. You will be hearing from me shortly!
Tina i cant read this, this is the sadest thing i have ever read. i know your sad he is gone but you can always have brandi sleep with you. lol i love you so much
Okay, that is a depressing post! I know the feeling, everytime Brandon goes out of town. Nick at Nite is my friend. :)
It is so hard to be alone at night when everything calms down. I hope one of your kids needs you once in a while so you won't feel so alone.
I think this post is a very beautiful insight into your life right now and full of honesty. Isn't that what blogging is about? Sharing your life as it is. Good and bad. Thanks for sharing.
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